Getting What You Pay For

In other news, apparently the LHC is on the fritz less than two weeks after they first fired it up. I'm picturing wild-eyed Swiss scientists standing hip-deep in rapidly evaporating liquid helium screaming "You're the reason we can't have nice things!" at each other in chipmunk voices.

In other news, I'm very easily amused.

Soft Power / Bun Fight at the OK Economy (dream)

1. One of the others in the group hands me the binoculars so I can see the soldiers (?) camped in the clearing below us. We're unarmed, at least with conventional weapons. I reach into the bag at my hip and pull out a snake's skull and a cord of braided red, yellow, and black ribbons. I tie a large knot in one end and pass it through the mouth of the skull, then mutter something under my breath and whirl it around my head a few times before letting go. Everyone ducks as the thing goes whipping though the trees before swerving around and coming back, snapping at everything it comes into contact with. I'm beginning to think that the manbo was right and I probably should have tried this maneuver with a real snake first, but I duck to one side, grab the tail and then yank back hard before grabbing the braid just behind the head. It's hellishly strong, this spirit, and it's thrashing around trying to take a bite out of me before I finally pull it taut and say the words to control it. Once it's calmed down, I take out a little ziploc baggie with a small vial, two black glass beads, and a bunch of loose fangs in it. As I put the beads into the eye sockets, I tell it that I'm giving it eyes in exchange for not biting me or my friends. Then I put the fangs into the appropriate spots, exacting a promise that it won't attack any civilians or animals. I slot the vial of poison into a hollow behind the fangs and tell it that this is for taking care of the men down the hill. Then I let it go and watch as it slips into the shadowy undergrowth. There's some screaming from below, a short staccato burst of gunfire, and then silence before the forest sounds start up around us as we pick our way down the hillside.

2. We're at a con at the U of S. It's lunchtime and we're all scarfing down standard-issue overcooked cafeteria pasta like it's going out of style. Several of us are still dressed up from the last game we were in or have already changed for the next one. Conversation stops dead when Ferlak turns up in a godawful eyesore of a Hawaiian shirt and bermuda shorts. (For anyone who doesn't know him, Ferlak never dresses like this.)

"I'm playing the ugly American tourist after lunch."

"Ah."

"Ah."

"Ah."

At which point he gives me this shit-eating grin and adds, "Had to borrow this from your husband."

X. flips him off, and I throw a stale dinner roll at him, which, unsurprisingly given my aim, hits a guy dressed as a gargoyle at the next table. I suddenly feign great interest in the shaker jar of parmesan cheese on the table, but Mal's still laughing when the guy turns around. He comes over and snarls, "You want to step outside for a physical challenge?"

I woke up snickering.