... and other dubious perks of parenthood:
1. "No, sweetie - you can't use the dinosaur to mop up pee."
2. "Kitty doesn't like it when you put raisins in her ears."
3. "There aren't any YouTube videos with Elmo and R2D2."
4. "I know your cousins are smaller than you and can't walk, but they're not kitties."
5. "Do you want another laundry hamper ride?"
6. The discovery that mommy's fancy soap isn't nearly as tasty as it smells.
7. "You can't go to Oma's house if you're naked."
8. "I don't think there are any videos with pandas and Yoda either."
9. "Don't stand in front of Daddy when he's trying to pee."
10. "Patzla."
"What?"
"Patzla!" (Tugs open kitchen drawer and gropes around inside)
"Ohh... spatula?"
"Patzla!"
(Lengthy session of handing him several spatulas of various materials, all of which he rejects with increasingly loud expressions of frustration and displeasure, until he throws himself to the floor and screams like an angry howler monkey after I try giving him a wooden spoon. Then I give him a black sort-of cross between a spatula and a slotted spoon.)
{delighted} "Patzla!"
(Does a little stompy dance, then toddles out to the living room where he drops the spatula five minutes later after rediscovering a jingly cat toy under the sofa.)
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